guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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