we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
