Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
