the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
