My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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