i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A bitchslap is in order.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
