bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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