Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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