i just google imaged poop.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
