Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
someone owes me an orgasm
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
