R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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