i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
