he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
