I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
