just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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