Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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