yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
