thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
