Rock
Scissors
Fuck
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
