after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
