I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
