Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A bitchslap is in order.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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