Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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