last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
