I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
