im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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