his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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