is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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