We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize