I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
