Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
