I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
