My cat gives me a boner
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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