billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
