i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize