How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
