am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
