JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
