now i know why i became what i already was.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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