she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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