so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
