Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
