pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
