what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
