She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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