Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
