So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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