apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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