she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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