Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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