Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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