He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
