she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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