I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You made out with two different species that night
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
