Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
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