....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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