At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
