She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
