just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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