a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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