I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
