I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize