Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
