I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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