I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
