Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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