In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
