new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
