Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
