So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
a search helicopter?!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
